My Thoughts

 So at this point in my life I am 19 years old, I am still technically going out with a married man still, I mean he was still leaving with his wife and 2 daughters now. 

I was living with a friend of the family who was also going through a divorce and had the extra room and I was using my food stamps to help by food as my way of contributing because I didn’t have a job at the time or a car clearly not really ready for any real responsibility. 

I really don’t know what was going through my head at the time now being 35 years old I think I must have been insane going out with a married man and nevertheless one that has kids already.  

I mean clearly they were having sex the whole time we were supposedly together I mean he had two kids now, and then agreeing to have a kid with him at 18 like what in the world was wrong with me. I should have gotten a job, learned how to drive, gotten my own place, a car, I should have done those things first, but no I thought having a baby would be fun, he would be so cute.

Well of course, he was adorable blue eyes, blonde hair, had my cute dimples so deep. I would never regret him from the moment I conceived him, but I definitely should have waited and found someone who was actually available. 

Anyway I guess we all stupid things when are young, now at 35 I wish I would have found myself a little more figured out my passions, learned some hobbies, traveled, but instead I did everything backwards.


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